Redradtech's World-Lots of Crazy Stuff!!!

It Has Been Months and Months!!!

2012-02-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

So many things happen. Time passes, the kids change, grand daughter changes. Relationships change. Guess it is a good thing we have changes or life would truly be boring.

I have made some changes recently. I just have felt for a very long time I had no purpose in my life. We all know that is not good. One day an online home school friend sent me a link to a web site talking about prodigal children. She thought it might touch my heart. Well, it did and I started both an online and email group for families with prodigals. I am very experienced at that you know!

I am reading books, sharing from the books, and posting prayers. It is going over very well. I pray over these families every day and post prayers from these books for them to use in their prayers. Many wise people are joining in and posting helpful insight. I thank God for my friend pointing me to that web site. It has been a blessing to get some insight.

I am on my way home from Maine and visiting my sister. I plan to focus on my weight watchers on line and start exercising again. I am so out of shape and not flexible at all. Need to work on it or I will never be able to garden this year at all. I praise God for my sister. She has a very demanding life and works hard at her family. She has challenges, different than mine, but challenges no less. She still has an 8 yo and a 15yo. My oh my, I am so glad to be out of that stage.

I have started focusing on prayers for my children. They are growing and changing in many ways. Some ways for the good and others I am not sure. I read recently where John Newton only had his mother for 7 years, but he attributed he coming back to the Lord all the things she taught him in those 7 years. My children had my teaching them about the Lord much longer than that. I know they have scripture and a love for Jesus in there somewhere. One day that will all come back to them.

I am not focusing on their going to "Church", but focusing on their hearts turning to the Lord and people coming into their lives that will help connect them to their roots in the Lord. I have done all I can. One thing I need to do is to step up my walk with the Lord again myself. I have had a slacker of a year. So many things "depressing" me and I just had a difficult time mustering up the energy to stay on track with the Lord and life.

I know, that my children had the Lord in their lives at one time. I also am sure they all believe. Some have lost heart in churches and Christians due to how they were treated as youth by some. I realize that they were picked apart by some for every little thing that didn't line up with what "was right." I should have stood up and said,"it's my family and we'll do things the way we think is best for our family." Live and learn.

I just want to keep the "Jesus" connection with my grand daughter. I am trying to send her to a Christian Pre-K and also plan to send her to Christian K and possibly 1st grade. I can tell her mom prays with her some. I know her step-grandmother does. I am thankful for that. She goes to church with Phil on Sundays when she is with us.

I am learning to let go of some things with the boys, Michael and Jonathan, as they are men now and need to move forward. A few weeks ago I told Jonathan that I am no longer bound by law to provide him a thing and he had 2 weeks to actively look for a job, shower every other day, and do his laundry once a week. I told him that if he didn't I would only provide ramen noodles for his meals. The next day he took a shower, did his laundry, and got a job!!!!! Michael has a full time job too. It is a "manly" job according to him. He works for a waste clean up company. He feels great working like this.

Another thing I have realized is that Phil and I have no real relationship. Something we need. They will all be gone soon (thank the Lord), but we have no life together. We do not have similar interests. He doesn't' like exercising, gardening etc and I don't like sitting at the computer all day playing war games. So, it is time for he and I to have a "come to Jesus" meeting where we start finding something we want to do together other than go out to eat. We went all these years, focusing on the children, and now Victoria, and we have very little together as friends, companions. We love one another and appreciate one another, but there is nothing else. Kind of sad.

Changing that is so difficult. We have so little time alone. One thing I changed recently is that I have had Natalie find a babysitter for Tues and Thurs evenings so that we don't have that responsibility. Now to find something for Phil and I to do together that will take us out of the house. Please pray for the perfect thing for us to do together, maybe with some friends. We need to get out. I would also like him to take interest in physical health with me. It would be nice to be working towards the same goal. He is so out of shape he can't do very much without getting out of breath.

We have issues with me being a light sleeper and not getting enough sleep and being tired constantly. I need relief in that area for sure. I pray for that. Thank you for your prayers also

People, Work, Disagreements, Get Over It!!!!!!!

2011-10-16T06:22:00.000-07:00

Life is short!! Last year at this time I had given my notice at Baylor and was moving on to a new job. It had been a rough year with mom being ill and passing, work had become very stressful and I needed a change. As all of you know, change doesn't always bring peace!!! The transition at my new job was very rough. I thought I was going to die, and I wanted to go back to my old job. At least I knew where all the stress was coming from and I would rather handle old stress than start up with new stress and the unknown. Fast forward to today. I love my job!!!! I love the people I work with on the weekend, the pace is sometimes fast and sometimes peaceful, but a bad day here, is better than a good day at my old job!!! I made a great decision!! Is it perfect here? No. There are many issues. People complaining, blaming one another, blaming management etc etc. I have gotten so tired of complainers I have started leaving when they talk. I have decided to not be a complainer. Does that mean that I don't bring issues up ever? No, I do bring them up, but I don't carry on forever and ever and if he result isn't what I like I just make the best of it. I wish others would do the same. Just get over it people!!!! Life isn't fair, jobs stink at times, and not all bosses are competent. I still treat everyone with respect. It carries a lot of weight when there are issues etc. People think better of you when you aren't a complainer and you don't put down your fellow worker at the drop of a hat. There are several folks at work right now that are at war and it is wearing on the rest of us to listen to the sides. You get a different story from each of them. Who knows what the truth really is, but I know that if I had to choose a side, I wouldn't side with the foul mouthed complainer who calls people and cuts down their fellow workers to the core. That is a person, that when they are wrong, still has to be right. I don't want to be that person. Some say, I am too nice to everyone. I would rather be too nice than have people walk away each time I started to talk.

Concerning life being short. I now work for a hospital that has a pediatric hospital attached to it. We do a lot of children that are very very ill. All you have to do is see one of those children and see the pain on the parents' faces and you know you are blessed to even be alive. Life is short, very short for too many of these children. Why do we spend so much time squabbling and having to be right? It is time we respect one another's opinions, and move on.

Remembering What is Important in Life

2011-10-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

Even though there are times that are very stressful for me, I am very blessed. I have a wonderful husband who gives me the freedom to be me. I have a delightful grand daughter that makes me smile all the time. My children are growing and learning how to be adults. Most importantly I have my health. I never want to take it for granted. I presently have a very good friend in Houston who has advanced colon cancer and very possibly lymphoma. This is a precious woman of God who always does God's will and she and her husband co-pastor a church in Pasadena, Tx. While I pray for divine intervention, I also know that God does not always grant healing. I pray for healing, and for God's hands to be on all the medical professionals that care for her. I pray for God's grace and mercy for she and her husband to get through this storm. I pray for wisdom on how to speak to them when I am with them. I pray for traveling mercies as I go back and forth to Houston to help take care of my precious friend. I pray for my health as my husband and family would be lost without me. Keep this precious family in your prayers. My friends mom is 91 years old and in great health. This is so difficult for her.

Last Day of My Vacation in Maine

2011-07-21T14:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been mostly a relaxing 4 days here with a bit of tumult with my sister's chidren. I bought a bathng suit for the first time in many, many years and spent some time in her pool. Very cooling and relaxing. It has been very warm here, but not nearly as what I left in Texas. It won't be any cooler when I arrive back tomorrow either. There is an elderly gentleman that my sister spends time with once in a while at a local sandwich shop. He looks forward to me coming into town and chatting with him too. We spend 15-30 minutes with him and it just makes his day. We found out he has a daughter my age with red hair. He must miss her.

My sister is a hard worker. Her husband has his own mechanic business on their land. She has to be available at the drop of a hat to run all kinds of errands for him. She cooks almost every day( I don't ) and still has young children to care for. She has chickens, a pool, and a very dusty yard, making it difficult to keep things tidy. They do not live close to anything so she is always driving somewhere to pick up friends, drop off friends etc so that her children can do things with others. They do not make a lot of money, yet her children lack nothing. They do family camping trips in the summer( that is not my calling )and she prepares for days to do so. Oh, she has a large vegetable garden too!!! I pray her children some day appreciate the woman she is. I have seen her go without, or put up with something she didn't want, just to have a more peaceful home or to save money. She and her husband built their home with their own hands 25 years ago and it has never been finished. She sure is long-suffering waiting for the finished product one day. The only rooms to have doors are the bathroom and her daughters bedroom. No door on her sons room which opens into the laundry room which happens to be her bedroom too. She has slept in the laundry room for many years with no door!! She needs a medal of honor. Allyson has been handling the selling of my mom's home, and it has been very trying. All I can do is give her moral support and financial support if need be.

My brother came for a short visit. He has his challenges to. He was here 20 min and his wife was feeling ill again and he had to leave. Bless his heart. Next time, we are going to go pick him up for the day so we don't have to worry about all of his wife's illnesses.

As usual, while I was gone, there was some major trouble with one of my children while I was gone. Thank God it wasn't the kind of trouble that puts you in jail for a change, but none the less, trouble that was serious and life threatening. Maybe, I need to stop going on vacation.

Which brings me to the word "choices". The choices that we make in our lives follow us around for the rest of our lives. It is so important to make wise choices and to be willing to accept some of the issues that come up due to our choices. Some of my children suffer greatly due to their poor choices. I pray that they can start making wiser choices in their lives so that things can start turning around. I pray to know where to let go and where to help. My heart grieves greatly for my beautiful daughter who works so hard. She will just start to feel like life is moving forward, then something happens( due to choices) that sets her back greatly again and she feels totally defeated.

Choose everything wisely; your spouse, your job, where you live, your friends, your entertainment, your words. Your choices will follow you and effect your life for good or for bad.

Sitting In Front Of My House With A Slight Breeze Listening To

2011-07-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

The water trickle down my fake rock waterfall in my garden. What a peaceful sound. I realize I have been very stagnant concerning my walk with God lately. Very stagnant about many things. I have wasted money at times all to have "fun". Mind you , my bills are paid, I have little debt, and I help others, but waste is waste. There are things I could do for my family that would bring me great joy and help them. I am going to set money aside and help my daughter get a safer car for her and my grand daughter. We will give her my husband's car and get him a newer one. I am going to help my youngest purchase his first car. He will have about $4000 soon and I want to help him with just a bit more money. My 21 year old needs transportation, but he didn't care for the car we bought for him the last time so I am not sure we will help him with that , but we will continue to pay for his schooling. I really have a great life and I need to be mor productive with it. God bless you all for being there all these years. I am about to embark on home schooling my grand daughter. She wants to go to "school". Somehow I need to organize doing tithe afternoons that she is her with me. I am going to get her some school stuff soon and do things with her. Pray that I can be in the "home school" mode again. I have the time, and I need to do this for my daughter. They don't live real close so I can't just go and get her each day to do this.

Grand daughters comment about school with Nana!

2011-07-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

I told Tori she would be going to school with nana When it was time for school until she gets a lot bigger. I was telling her that her mom did her school with Nana an she promptly said, "That is not allowed!". Too funny. 3 1/2 years old and already saying no to home school! Geee!

A Wonderful Family Day!!!!

2011-07-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day for family time. My SIL Katherine was in town helping her daughter get settled in her new apartment at college. As usual, she texted and emailed everyone to come together for lunch. We had 17 family members there. Lots of catching up and laughing occurred. All age groups were represented and all the very young children were well behaved. All my children except Matthew were there.

Sadly, I really missed my mother in law who passed away about 8 years ago. Oh how Grandma would have loved this day! Barbara always had a way of making everyone feel important. She has 2 grandchildren she never met and a great grand daughter also. She loved having everyone at her house eating and laughing and playing games till the wee hours of the night. She was the most gracious person I ever met. She always made my friends feel like family in her home. They could drive through Dallas and stay with her at any time. Whenever there was a big family dinner in her house, you could rest assured everyone had something they liked that was cooked!! We didn't have just a turkey at holiday time, we had brisket and sliced ham also. We had several kinds of salad and many deserts, most home made until the last few years.

My MIL treated me like I was her own daughter. I never felt like an outsider at all. She made sure we never lacked anything in our home as I stayed home to take care of the children instead of working. When I first started home schooling she had reservations, but never criticized me. She would ask me if I had concerns and listened to what I had to say. It wasn't long and she was so pleased with their academic progress that she said if we ever had to move in with them that she would make sure I had what I needed to teach them school.

Barbara was an avid reader and taught herself about many things through reading. She had always wanted to have more education than she received, but had to work to take care of her children. Education was very important to her as it is to me. She would be proud of all of the grand children graduating from high school and going to college. It was important to Barbara that the girls in the family could take care of themselves if need be. I know it was hard for her to work all those years as she was a single mom for a time.

I am sure my MIL was not perfect, but she was the perfect mother in law for me. I miss her so. Katherine is like her mother in all the areas mentioned above. I always feel so good around her. It would be great to live close together. We could help one another out in our gardens or go to Bible study together. Maybe we could actually get some creative memories done together. Thank you Katherine for always making me feel good. You are such a blessing to be around!!

Tears

2011-05-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been watching the GMC(gospel music channel). They play The Waltons reruns along with other uplifting shows of the past. I cry daily at lessons learned and hardships persevered through. I marvel at the miracles done in the Walton family. Nothing got them done permanently. I find myself longing for a family that works together for the common good of the family. I am starting to pray for the things I see in these shows to come to pass in the lives of my family. I'm not good and thinking of things to pray for, so as I see things that we all need to change I am praying for them.

Our family members seem to wander in all directions and never do things all together. I don't like the movies they go to. They don't like the shows I watch on tv. I like to work with my hands outside. The rest like to stay inside and be couch and chair potatoes.

I long for the true sense of family where I know things aren't perfect, but at least we would be trying to be more "together " in things that concern our lives.

Mother's Day Wish

2011-05-04T20:59:00.001-07:00

I have decided that for Mother's day I am going to ask
My family to all walk with the Lord and to work hard and be successful in whatever they choose to do

In search of Truth..In Search of God's Will..

2011-04-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

I sat down with my bible last night and decided to do some serious reading. I was reading in the NLT with my Dakes Study Bible next to me. I happened to read 1 Corinthians. To be honest, I used to think I understood truth in the Bible, but now I find I question more than I understand. No one else reads their Bible around here. One person says they spent many years reading and researching and they know all they need to. Well, I spent many years too and I feel I know little. What I do know is Jesus is Lord and the only way to God. I know that I need to love my neighbor as I love myself, and love God with all my heart!!!

I don't want to be judgmental about things, but where do we draw the line concerning those who live in sin? When do you totally stay away from sinners and when do you try and be an example and pray they "get it"! I live in sin too. If everyone left me due to my inability to stop sinning, no one would be here.

What about the whole Head Covering thing. If I read the Bible it seems real obvious to me, but if I look at commentaries and other people's writings about it, I have a different opinion. What about divorce? If I read the Bible, it seems real obvious to me, but when I read commentaries and other writings, I question what I read.

What really is a loving way to confront someone in sin? I have seen it done biblically before and it never goes well. I have seen believers in sin asked to leave the church, never to repent and come back to the Lord. Is that too harsh a thing to do? Isn't that what the bible says to do. If so, we all ought to be kicked out!!!!

So many questions and hundreds of answers and opinions. I have heard them all. I know I fall short miserably from what God wants me to be. I get up each day thinking I can conquer, but never do. I still overeat. I still gossip too much and don't hold my tongue as well as I should. I have children living in sin, but no longer confront them as I don't want the fight and I don't want them to leave and never come back, and feel we don't love them because they don't conform to our standards in life.

I pray for wisdom, but feel very unwise. I pray for strength, yet feel very weak. I pray for health and healing, but can't seem to do what I need to do to take care of my body so God can do what he needs to. The list goes on. So I am going to go back and read some more, praying I don't get even more confused or discouraged.

Long time, no see!! Living in a bit of a funk right now!

2011-04-18T16:33:00.000-07:00

Life is going pretty well, so why am I in such a funk and all depressed?! I can never quite figure all this out. I think God doesn't want us to figure it out as then we wouldn't need to depend upon him. That is why we will never be able to figure out all that is in the Bible. God gave us snippets to get us through our life here on earth. The rest of it we have to trust Him!!!

I have a myriad of physical issues, none of which the doctors can give a reason on for. I know some of it comes from stress. Other parts of it come from poor eating habits and too much diet coke. What is it about addictions that we just can't beat them some times? For me it is diet coke and food. For someone else, its alcohol or drugs. Sin is sin, and addiction is addiction, no matter the type. Neither is Godly, so why do we struggle so trying to quit? Why are we so quick to run to our addictions at the least little challenge in our lives?

Today I succumbed to a few of the challenges in my life. Then I get upset because I fell down and just get crushed in my heart and spirit. I know I should go to the Word, but just don't want to read. I feel lazy, restless, cranky, you name it!

I need to pray!! I just never really know what to pray for.

From my dear sweet sister in law

2011-02-14T04:05:00.001-08:00

Hi Stephanie,

I read your new blog posting, and it reminded me of a book passage that I had sent to a couple of my friends last November.
It’s by T.D. Jakes [I think I told you how much I liked his book, "Woman, Thou Art Loosed" and really wanted to visit his church, The Potter’s House]. So, this is from another book of his, "God's Leading Lady".
It starts with a discussion about Eve (making a big mistake, then moving forward with her life in spite of it) and Lot's wife (who was given an opportunity for a new life, but decided to disobey and looked back to her old life because she was having a hard time leaving it). Here's the passage I thought was so good:

"The Lord had warned her [Lot's wife] not to hold on too tightly, not to look back and risk losing the future appointment with His goodness. But this woman could not turn her head away. She was terrified that the best was behind her, and she could not bear to let it go. As a result, she lost her humanity [she turned to salt], her faith [disobedience/lack of trust], her ability to birth new life [Eve had gone on to her post-Eden life to birth 3 boys and build a new life outside]. She dried up into the bitterness of salt, the salt of her tears of loss.
We all have those things that we just can't leave behind us: past lovers, abusive husbands, nice homes, hard-fought successes, fair-weather friends. We know in our heads that they no longer have any place in our present, but still we insist on twisting our heads until we're contorted in the wrong direction. But if you don't let go of them and leave them in the past, they will turn us into our own pillars of salt, into the bitterness of brine as we drink our own tears instead of the living water of our Lord. Even if the past has held rich moments of success-- and I hope it has for you -- we must not hold onto past trappings of success and refuse to face the risks of the future and what God has in store for us. We must believe that regardless of the cost, He has something better for us ahead. Lot's wife chose not to believe that the path ahead of her was better than the path behind her. But sometimes, you just have to let go. You just have to keep your eyes on the road in front of you and trust that the journey the Lord has mapped out for you will lead you to greater things."

From church and my bible study today

2011-02-13T11:20:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 1:6 (NIV)
The Lord our God said to us at Horeb, "You have stayed long enough at this mountain."

Church talked about being stuck in the past. Not just being stuck on the bad that as happened, but also being stuck on something great and trying revive an old thing.

Is 43:19 says, "See, I am doing a new thing!..."

Sometimes we spend too much time in our churches and in our lives trying to recreate a great revival, or time of happiness when God tells us in Is 43:18 "Forget the former things. Do no dwell on the past."

I have to start looking at the new things God may be doing in my life.
I also need to remember that God will deliver me. "in my circumstances" not necessarily "from my circumstances."

I keep dwelling on the years before I worked, and when my kids were all home schooled. The times before hubby lost his job, got ill, kids were arrested, had to move, dd became pregnant, more arrested etc etc. Those times are gone. I have to start living in the present and dealing with the cards I have been dealt. I really needOTo try and see the new thing He is doing. Please pray for me. I think I am still angry that I had to go back to work! I am thankful I had something to fall back on, but angry I had to give up my "other life. "

Link to recent Family Pictures

2011-02-06T12:48:00.001-08:00

Long Time Since I have Blogged Anything...

2011-01-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

I thought it was time for an update. This year was an interesting year that brought several changes in our lives. My mom passed away in September. We all miss her in different ways. My sister keeps thinking she will go down to the house and pick up mom to go to the store, dance lessons, etc. I keep trying to pick up the phone and call her to complain about something that is nagging at me. My brother used to call her almost every day to chat and see how she was. I think it has been worse for my sister as she has lived almost next door to her since moving out of the house at 18.

I changed jobs 2 months ago. A major thing for me to do. Out of my comfort zone a bit. I am at a very large hospital now with CAT scan in 3 different buildings. There is a possibility I may become the supervisor, temporarily or full time. I still am not totally comfortable with everything and not everyone is sure about me as I came into a fire of sorts. There was a girl doing the position I took for 4 months. She applied for the job also, but didn't get it. It has made things a tad touchy to say the least. She has been telling people some very untrue and unkind things about me. Oh well.

Matthew has been home a month now and goes back to Biloxi today. It has been great to have him home. Phil and the boys have missed him terribly. Victoria fell in love with him. At first when she tried to say uncle Matt, she would say cocoa Matt. The first day he was home, I came in from work to see him taking her to the potty!!! He was amazed that she kept coming to get him to use the toilet!! Then he taught her how to use the computer to play his game. I came home to her with headphones on and a mouse in her hand one day, playing away. He loves Tori a lot and will miss her. He has grown into being a fine man. He still is full of energy and hardly sleeps. Some things never change!!!!!

Jonathan is doing well. He is working and going to school. Trying to get him to focus more!! Good luck!!!!!

Michael is waiting to graduate so he can move on with life. He is ready to do something so he can move out of the house. We will see about that. You never know. I may get one to move out of the house yet. It is a tad crowded here.

Natalie is still living at home with Victoria. I pray that she finds the way she is to go this year. She needs to feel good about herself!!! She is beautiful and loves Tori.

Victoria wants to go to school!! I came home the other day and she said she wants to go to school.. She has a friend that goes to pre school and she wants to join in. Each time I go out the door she says its "time to go to school." She remembers that ages ago I told her that when she got potty trained I would let her go to school. Geee!!! be careful what you promise. Now I need to find a pre-school for her. More like a mothers day out for me!!!!

Victoria has a multitude of allergies. I buy lots of things from the health food store. Do you know that chocolate chips have soy in them and that french fries at fast food places have milk in them? Allergies: milk, eggs, soy, shellfish, cats, dogs, roaches, dust, peanuts!!!! I know there are more, but that is the major list. We have to have an epi pen close by in case of reactions. I cook with special shortening, almond milk, egg replacer, etcetc. What a life. I have even made home made tortillas.

Phil has lost weight and I have gained. The weight loss has improved his kidney function in his transplanted kidney. What a blessing. I have hip tendinitis that never goes away so exercising is difficult. I need to just eat better. Good luck with that huh!!!!!

As for some goals this year. I am learning to be more relaxed at work. I want to continue that. I am learning to slow myself down a bit, as fast isn't necessarily best always. I would like to get my house more organized, but that would take getting a few extra bodies out of here and that isn't happening soon, so I have to learn to live with the "stuff." I am not where I need to be with God.

I guess that is the simple list of where we are at this year. Just had a family picture taken and will post it as soon as we get them back. God bless

Long time , no see!!!

2010-08-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

Life is busy and crazy at times. I have had my 3rd trip back to Maine this summer to check in on Mom again. Next trip planned is the end of September. I would love to list a long list of great things going on, but I am in a valley right now. Gained weight, work is very frustrating right now, kids are just not close to where they need to be, grand daughter so needs to be potty trained!!! and the list goes on.

I am proud and thankful my oldest is doing well. Haven't heard from him recently, but he is in Hawaii through this month doing a job for the air force. He has been snorkeling and loves it!! He is starting college on line also. He is moving forward.

I feel like I am moving backwards. I need to get on board and start exercising again and eating well. I overcome grief with food. That is a battle I continue to lose in my life. Every time I read about children of friends and how godly they are growing, I start crying and praying I could say the same thing. Mine still seem bent on doing all they can to just exist in life.

I finally gave one back their cell phone(with parental controls on it) with no thank you, just a hmmm, I've lived without it 3 mo, no big deal!! It seems that my children have bought into the "world's" idea of life and how to live it. Let's eat drink and be merry for the days are short!!!!

No one wants to be disciplined and sleep when they should and get up and work hard to accomplish a goal. We just want to stay up all night and sleep all day. Each day is a struggle to get everyone to do what needs to be done. I dread the coming school year and the getting them off to school and trying to get them to do their school work. No matter how we discipline the ones that are not adults, they just don't. How is it that someone like me, who works hard to make sure I do my best, has a crowd that could care less?

I often wonder what happened to all the godly little children I raised who loved going to church and Awana etc and now won't get out of bed except to eat, play, and work. They do go to work, but no one saves money, they spend it all on stuff!!!!

Ok, I have ranted long enough. I just want my family to desire to live how God would have them to live, the the truth is, they do not care.

Busy Busy Busy...

2010-07-31T10:15:00.000-07:00

After living in this house for almost 3 years and not decorating or hanging pictures, I finally decided to get on the ball. I went out and got a bunch of house plants and went to Michael's and they had buy one get one free frames and I deveolped and framed pictures from my Maine vacation with Phil last year. I decided to decorate my livingroom as the "Maine" room. I have a couple of historical pictures I am getting from my mom at some point and those will hang there also. I also hung all of our family pictures and pictures of my grand daughter iin out hallway. It does look a bit more homey now. I still need to put up some kind of drapes or something, but I hate having to hang them.

Monday the house is being appraised for our re-financing. I am so excited to be going to a 15 yr loan with a much better interest rate. It saved us a ton of money. I will be glad when it is done. There are some other things I have to attend to also this month that are driving me nuts.

Matthew is leaving for Hawaii tomorrow for a month. I had hoped to go and see him, but this month is just full of stuff that I cannot postpone, so I will have to wait for another day.

This Has Been Quite a Week...

2010-07-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

I was blessed to get to see my SIL and have lunch with her. Wish we lived closer together. She would be such a great support system. We think alike. She was talking about each day is a success if you learn at least one thing new. I took that to heart and yesterday I went to the library and got a bunch of books on gardening. I dove right into them and found that I loved them!! I got on half.com and was able to purchase most of them for only 75 cents each!!! What a deal. Next year I am going to venture into some bulbs and maybe container veggies!!!! I am getting some great ideas. I also went flower pot shopping. I got 2 very large ceramic ones for half price and four smaller ones for 75% off. Great end of the season buys. I am also toying with putting a trellis up the front of my house to hang small pots on. Will see!!!

Another blessing is that God has opened the door for us to refinance our home. We have 2 loans right now with 6.5 and 9.5 percent loans. It will take us to a 15 year loan at 4.5 percent. House payment will only go up about 100 dollars.

A third possible blessing is that Matthew is going to Hawaii for a month on August 1st. I may be able to fly there for 4 days to see him. Yahoo!!! We will have to see.

Lots of challenges too. Will not elaborate, but prayer needed for some in this family to choose wiser paths to travel. One of mine just has to choose the same scenic route over and over again. God bless that child as only God will be able to lasso that one in.

See you all later.

Parents of Wayward Children..A good read from a former Wayward One

2010-07-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

I need to go and read it again. I guess I am and have done lots of what it says, can improve on pointing to Jesus more

http://www.thoughts-about-god.com/reflecting/piper_12ways.htm

Now, that I posted some positive things, here are some less positive things...

2010-07-18T14:10:00.000-07:00

Gaining weight again. I am so unmotivated. I have what the Dr said is hip tendinitis and nothing helps it except not using it and as soon as I garden or doing some kind of bending work, or sitting for a while, it hurts again. No exercise for almost 2 mo and I am not better. Working on a vitamin regimen. I really need to eat healthy, but just can't get a grip on it. That will take a miracle!!!

School will be starting again soon and in some ways that is good as the men are gone most of the day. The flip side is I will be watching Tori much more and trying to get people up in the morning. My men stay up until it is time to actually get up some times. So many issues with high school, work, extra curricular etc. I am not looking forward to the "homework not getting done" syndrome again this year. I am so tired of laziness I cold cry.

I think it is almost time to say, "you may live in my house, but I am not responsible to get you to and from school and/or work any longer. Get a bicycle!! I will also not be your alarm clock!! Figure it out!" My oldest rides a bicycle to work all the time and gets his groceries that way!!!!

Just some ponderings during down time at work.

It's PINK, it's PINK, it's PINK !!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

She screamed when we opened up her new swimming pool. You should have seen Victoria jumping up and down when she saw it was pink. gee!! She always notices pink!!!

I have 2 boys I am very proud of right now!!!

2010-07-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

My oldest son is saving money, has a financial and educational plan and is refusing to let anything derail it. He is a minimalist. Has no furniture other than a foot locker and a blow up air mattress. He has no tv and got rid of his computer as it kept him from studying like he wants to. He started a college fund for his niece because his sister is a single parent and cannot do it. He doesn't date because women will get in the way of school and being prepared to be a husband and father. That could change, but so far he doesn't seem to be budging. He helps us with bills when he makes extra money going TDY. He is a fine young man that has overcome much adversity.

My 20 yo son is looking for a woman!! He had a girlfriend, but took a moral stand on something we taught him and they broke up. I am very proud of him. My 16 yo even said he was very proud of him.(that is a miracle as he swears he hates his brother!)

Just wanted to praise a few of the men in my house!!!!

If I had it all to do over again, would I change anything?

2010-07-17T06:25:00.000-07:00

Before I start, let me say, I am very pro home schooling. I did it for 12 years of my life. It was quite an experiece, and the reason I am pondering all of this is because at some point my daughter will probably want me to homeschool Victoria for a season. I am torn and am thinking of not home schooling her.

One of the things I think I lost with homeschooling was just being a mom. I was mom, teacher, aka drill sargent. I know that there are other people that do these things quite well together, but I have decided I am not one of them. I would have been better off just being mom and helping with home work etc, than to be teacher too. I think I lost the parent connection with my children in all the "school" stuff. The school stuff was #1 and the parent relationship really was not what it could have been.

I so enjoy the relationship of being Nana, to start being teacher too would ruin the whole thing. I want my grand daughter to think of me as Nana she loves to come see, not Nana she dreads to do school with. I think that is what happened with my children. I was not Mom they loved to be with , but Teacher they dreaded every day. We didn't do well dividing it all up.

If I hadn't home schooled would my children have turned out any better than they have so far? Probably not, and they may have been even worse. Part of me misses those years, and the rest of me is glad they are done with. My 2 younger boys, who have finished school in the "system" have done fair acaemically. They are very lazy and don't do al lof their work. My oldest 2 were the same way and they were home schooled. At some point I lost the ability to make them do what they should , and they didn't care what the consequences were. I always thought that maybe having peer pressure may have made them do better, but the younger 2 proved that wrong.

I am amazed at the abundance of laziness that is in my 2 youngest. They do only enough to keep their head above water in all areas. Gee!!!! I had hoped home schooling them would have helped in that area. Well enough rambling.

I am leaning towards not homeschooling Victoria at all.

Hello Again!!!

2010-07-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

After talking to a dear friend, I decided to keep the blog up. Very few people actually keep track of what is happening in my life, but it seems there are some that care.

Life has been a whirlwind for me. In the last month or so I have been home to Maine twice to see my mother. One I lost all my identification and money etc. Once was an emergency visit, as she was doing extremely poorly with her leukemia. The next time was a scheduled vacation and she was doing better by then. Having decided to stop all cancer drugs has made my mom's quality of life so much better!!!! She sounds like the old mom I have always known. God is in control. The Doctor gave her weeks, the interenet maxes her out at 6 mo, God has no limits. I am just happy that mom is enjoying things. I plan to make a trip home at the end of September again.

Matthew is back in the states again. Getting an apartment was on his agenda and we helped him seek one out in Biloxi. It is a cute small one bedroom kind of efficiency. You should see the bicycle he bought for transportation. It is the Cadillac of mountain bikes. No wasting money on car payments and insurance for him. He is moving in later this week and I plan to take a trip to see him with Michael. Michael misses him a lot. Matthew will be taking a test to become a sargent in August. He is also planning some classes at the local community college and is trying to finish his Associates degreee.

Natalie is still working at a local restaurant with her brothers. Victoria is growing and very active!!! Only stops moving to sleep. And in her words, "no ice cream, no potty." She has no intention of using the potty. She also has no intention of being bribed with anything to convince her to go potty. I come in the door from work to loud scraming and joy to see me, then the words, " I poot nana." Yes, she waits for me all the time!!!!

Jonathan is busy working with his siblings and his girlfriend at the restaurant. That's right, I said girlfriend. Her name is Kristina and she is such a cutie and we lover her to pieces. Someone has taken him on as a project to organize. It isn't working yet!!! God bless her. He will start back at the community college in the fall not knowing what on earth to do with his life.

Michael has spent a summer of discontent. He has been grounded for a foolish event in his life. Poor judgement one day. So he works and stays home for now. We did give him back his computer, but not his prized phone. This will be his last year of high school. He would like to move out now. I told him to save his money for a lawyer, and when he turns 17 he can go to court to be declared an emancipated minor and live on his own. Heehee. He hasn't moved worward with that yet!!

Phil is doing pretty well and is happy to be teaching aquatic biology and food science this year!!! Two things he has experience in!!!! His transplant is almost 3 years old now and still doing well. The pancreas is doing great, the kidney is adequet. He will have some testing on it at the end of August.

I am doing 2 bible studies now as I do not get to go to church as I work every weekend. Haven't been able to find a church that has a Wed service anywhere. Gaining weight has been on my agenda lately. Notice I said gaining!!!! Geeee My rt hip is a problem. I have been to the Dr and he said tendonitis, but nothing has made it better so I do not exercise. Gardening kills it, sitting kills it and anything that is life squatting kills it. Oh well, another thing to live with I guess.

I guess that is enough for now. God bless anyone who reads this